mindset miscellaneous

Restlessness, Root Causes and PQ

I woke up Saturday in a state of restlessness. Despite getting things done during the week and getting enough sleep, I couldn’t shake the feeling of overwhelm from all of the chores I had placed on my “list” for the day. i began the day as I always do, with meditation, hot tea, gentle back stretches and then a long walk. Upon return, I still had the restless energy eating away at my insides. 

Usually, I heed these impulses to be “busy” and do all of the things that are calling to me. From childhood, I recognize that getting things done impressed people and I was rewarded for my productivity. At a cost. I developed a state of never enough. Never satisfied. My restlessness was product driven, not purpose driven; akin to cutting off loose threads instead of patching the hole (I am developing some resources pertaining to this as it relates to health – hello cholesterol – and root causes for future emails/posts, so stay tuned). 

This past weekend was different however. You see, I have begun a course in enhancing my Positive Intelligence Quotient. Now before you write it (and me) off as a Positivity Pusher, hear me out. 

The premise – based on research – is that by identifying your “Saboteurs”, strengthening your “Sage” and developing your “Command” muscle, you can create more balance, creativity and happiness. Read more here: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/science/

So this weekend, instead of getting all of the things on my list checked off, I acknowledged that they were there. I went through, one-by-one, each item and asked “Busy Girl” – my alter ego who takes over when the Restlessness hits full force – if each was necessary to do on that day. One-by-one, the answers kept coming back as “no.”

I sat down at my desk and read instead. After the space of several hours, going between reading and some online coursework for my Mobility training, I recognized the urge to do my chores was no longer there. I sat there longer and later I noticed that my interactions with my partner were more open, genuine and articulate. I no longer hurried the conversation due to my “needing” to get things done. Hmmm

My point is this: Notice. Notice your tendencies. Notice what is really driving your behaviors. From that introspection, you can make shifts in your Operating System to thrive instead of merely survive.  If you are interested in learning more about YOUR “Saboteurs” you can take this assessment online: https://assessment.positiveintelligence.com/saboteur/overview and with your results, I’d be pleased to help you develop tiny steps towards lessening their impact on your life and strengthening your other “muscles.”

The following sequence can do several things. It can enhance your relationships and ability to focus. It is also a way to carve out brief moments of time for your own self-care, and it is an example of mindfulness that can be done anywhere and anytime. Even 2 minutes performed consistently can make a difference in your life. 

Here’s how to do it:

  • Take some time to just be aware, it might be seated, standing, lying down or even moving about. 
  • Next, Focus on on spot. Become hyper-aware of the colors, shapes, textures.
  • Now, de-focus your gaze so that you can still see that spot, but you see all the things in the periphery as well.
  • Next, turn your attention to your feet. Feel your feet wherever they are. Feel each of your toes. Notice how your feet are moving or not moving wherever they are. The point is not to change anything, or admonish yourself when you drift in and out, but come back to awareness here now. 
  • Next turn your attention to the furthest away sound that you hear. You don’t need to name it nor even identify what it is, just listen. 
  • Then turn your awareness to the closest sound that you hear. Maybe it’s your breath. 
  • Now, bring your attention to your breathing. it might be that you notice it more in your lower abdomen or perhaps more around your nostrils. Neither is wrong nor right. Just be aware. Just now. 

If you do at least a part of this exercise, you will derive benefits. If you do it every day, you will benefit even more. Hit reply to this email to tell me how you felt before and after doing this sequence. 

If you have a topic you’d like me to write about, let me know by sending your response. 

Schedule a time to chat here: https://calendly.com/juliebergfeld/30-min-discovery


I work with mid-life men and women who want to feel younger through improving their relationship to food, movement and mindfulness.

You may also like