We all experience feelings of self-doubt from time to time, whether we’re starting a new job, getting ready for a presentation, taking a test, or sports competition. While a certain about of uncertainty and apprehension is normal and can be a source of motivation, when it becomes chronic, it might be preventing you from living up to your fullest potential.
Self-doubt can be defined as a state of uncertainty about the truth of anything. It might be about our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, opinions, decisions, self-views, or any “truth” we hold. It’s a sense that we’re not stable. Self-doubt specifically involves questioning your own competence. It might manifest in many ways, including: imposter syndrome, self-sabotage or choice procrastination.
While does take time, you can overcome your doubts. Through dedication, consistency and hard work, outlined below are some tools to embrace your authentic self.
William Shakespeare is quoted as having said, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Doubt makes us quit – or not even try.
Causes
Here are some of the common factors that lead to self-doubt. Think of these as possible explanations to help you stop beating yourself up. For most people, trying to pinpoint exactly why they have doubt is less important than overcoming it.
- Narcissistic parents – Many times, we’re scared of repeating our parents’ mistakes, causing an overly cautious attitude. If your parents are narcissistic, you may swing to the extreme. In response to your parents, you may become too modest or unconfident. You may question everything, even your own actions, making it hard to accept praise.
- A “drill sergeant approach” – “Tough love” can be an effective motivator as it urges you to work harder, but criticizing does far more harm than good. Self-sabotage from overworking and a fear of becoming lazy or “soft” when this behavior continues.
- The past – Our experiences shape who we are and how we see others and the world. Many struggle to let go. Failures and setbacks from the past can leave us filled with self-doubt.
- Fear of failure and fear of success – The fear of falling short and disappointing others is just as paralyzing as the fear of being unable to replicate our past successes. We might credit luck that got us a “win,” instead of our talents when filled with doubt.
Signs of doubt
Common indications that you may be dealing with self-doubt in your personal or professional life include:
- You are unable to accept compliments from others, and you can’t give yourself credit
- You seek reassurance
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of “never good enough”
- Self-handicapping
- Over-achievement
Ways to overcome self-doubt
Here are some good habits for you to keep in mind to stop doubting yourself:
- Practice self-compassion – Self-doubt means that you’re holding yourself back. It arises from the fear of making a mistake, but mistakes are how we grow and improve our own abilities. You might begin by saying three positive affirmations to yourself at the beginning of each day.
- Acknowledge past achievements – Self-reflection reminds us that we’re capable of what we want to achieve. Learn from what’s happened and focus on using the lessons you’ve learned from those times to improve the present.
- Stop comparing – Self-doubt can arise when you measure yourself against a family member, colleague, or even friend. Everyone’s life is different, and someone else excelling doesn’t mean you don’t have any strengths. Flip the mirror and learn to focus on yourself.
- Surround yourself with support – Being around people who put you down is one of the worst things for mental health. Spend time with people who make you feel good; they can build you up when you’re struggling.
- Journal – Make an effort to record what you’re thankful for or your accomplishments each day. Your journal may cover things like earning a promotion or remembering to do the dishes.
- Doubt your doubts – You aren’t your thoughts. Question how accurate or helpful they are. Negative thinking is a mental habit that can consume us.
- Cultivate unconditional self-worth and self-love – Try to cultivate a sense that your worth is neither increased nor decreased by external factors like how people treat you, your decisions, or the money you earn.
- Use positive self-talk – Say things to yourself that are kind, positive, compassionate and supportive – much like a close friend would talk to you.
- Use affirmations – You might say, “I am capable,” “I am doing my best, and that is enough,” or “I am capable of anything I try.”
Self-doubt can be uncomfortable and problematic, but with dedication and consistency and maybe some external guidance, you can overcome self-doubt and step forward with more confidence.